Lost

Yesterday I felt a little lost. Several times I found myself checking my phone for text messages, only to remember that I shouldn't be expecting any.

I still have some loose ends to tie up. I'm going to do a final inspection next week, so I have those 2 clients to stay in contact with. I have some follow up with the women whom I have given my referrals to, as well as two more clients whose contracts are expiring on the 12th of July. Pretty much after the 15th, I should be free and clear.

So, yesterday I kind of wandered around the house and it dawned on me, that nobody expects anything of me, (with the obvious exception of my husband and dog, neither would appreciate it if I stopped washing clothes, grocery shopping, cleaning, etc.). It is a weird feeling. No one is depending on me. I now have significantly less responsibility, I'm not accountable to anyone who lives outside this house. Strange indeed!

So I dumped these feelings aside and headed to SC for the ladies 9 hole league. It was my best 9 holes at SC this year as I scored a 42. I had a triple on the first hole, (I skulled a flop then took 2 strokes in the sand - jackass!) if it wasn't for that stupidness I could have easily scored a 40! (It's a par 37 from the ladies tees BTW), pretty darned good regardless. Very happy. Perhaps it's my new found free wheeling spirit that channeled into my swing and resulted in a good score. Whatever it is, I'll take it! - Especially since we golfed at Point West on Monday and that course, although rated slightly lower than SC, it Kicked My Ass! I think I had 4 penalty strokes! Oh well...

What else.... I've been reviewing in my head whether or not I'm truly A Bad Person. I've struggled with this over the years, and something I've seen online recently has disturbed me to the point again when I'm re-evaluating my behavior. I'll let you know what I come up with when I have some time to think... I'll pencil thinking in for around 2 pm today... let me check... yep, I'm free.

Happy Birthday USA. You're a fine country. A land of contrasts and beauty. I especially like Hawaii. I also like Big Lots, your movies, Las Vegas, Diet Mug Root Beer, the property taxes in Tennessee, all the varieties of Pop Tarts, (although I don't eat them... I find the selection titillating,) mid-western accents, (doncha know...) Real Men of Genius Budweiser commercials, country music and online shopping, (but I don't like the delivery charges, or my items getting hung up in customs). Have a good one USA, I hope it doesn't rain on your fireworks, outdoor parties and barbecue...