Where to begin

I guess I'll start with yesterday's wedding. It turned out really nice. The bride and groom seriously looked about 20 years younger than their actual age. Their kids' speeches were really funny and heartfelt... except one was a little confusing. All in all, it was a great night and lots of laughs. I will say, that for a summer wedding at a Knights of Columbus Hall, people were dressed pretty formally. There was no lack of cleavage! I wore a long skirt, flats, and a white wife beater. Luckily I had enough forethought to bring something a little dressier for the reception, (isn't that normal? Casual summer wedding, step up at the reception?) black heals, and a really nice black tank that was lined, but not hot, and it hung really well. (The Bay, $10, reg. $49,99, Boxing Day Sale, seriously, you have to check their formal section on BD. It's a steal!)

It was a good wedding a nice reception.

So let's talk about Friday night with TOL, the Keg and Festival Epicure.

You know you've had a great night when you get home and you have to throw out the pants that you wore. Yes, my favorite white capris are now below a pile of coffee grinds. I'll review some things that I learned on Friday night, because what is life if not a constant opportunity for knowledge?

- 2 people can't eat at the Keg for under $120 (not including tip, TG for gift certificates). What a great dinner, very fun, worth every penny!
- If you work out 2 hours a day, and have even 18 kids, you are going to have a killer bod.
- When looking for an exit at an outdoor festival, working your way through bushes can not lead anywhere good.
- When drinking wine at an outdoor festival, leave the full glass when not being drunk, on a table.
- Chambourcin from Erie Shore is a Red wine that looks like a blush. It leaves a purply-pink stain on crisp, white capris.
- Festival Epicure resembles the Essex Beer Tent, with wine, less wife beaters, fewer eleven-teen-year-olds, and a river nearby.
- Hopping a fence is a) only something guys should do b) should not be attempted by anyone after 3 drinks.
- When hopping a fence, push off with your feet, don't slide off the top. If you decide to slide off the top you may rip one or two giant tears in your pants, (or favorite white capris).
- The casino is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. There is really no rush to get there. Take the time to find a proper exit.
- It's always a good idea to dress in layers in case someone rips huge holes in the ass of their favorite capri pants.
- A great night out is worth way more than a pair of capris, even if they fit really good.

I will never forget that night. I thought TOL was going to break a bone laughing.