When you speak...

Everyday I strive to be a little better than the day before. In this personal journey, I look for inspiration in others, as well as faults in others, so that I can improve myself.

Communication is obviously the most important way we interact with friends and family. Are you good at expressing yourself? Are you a good listener? Is your conversation positive and enjoyable, or are you bringing, or putting someone down?

Here are some types of people I've noticed lately:

The Back Patter

These are the people that want to let you know how fabulous others think they are. Often these interjections into conversation come out of the blue, and leave me wondering, 'what is your point?'. Are they trying to convince me that they are a fantastic human being? It results in the opposite. They come off as self absorbed, shallow, and attention piggies.

Mrs. I. Me

These people cannot stop talking about themselves. They often interupt and change the subject back to them. 'Enough about me, more about me'. Do they hear themselves? It doesn't seem to bother them that nobody cares.

The One Upper

These people often interrupt a story with a phrase such as, 'oh that's nothing!' or 'Better than that was the time...' or 'the best was the time...' They have completely disregarded your story because they have a better one.

Waiting to Exhalers

These people have no idea what you're saying because they are thinking of they are going to say next. As soon as there is the smallest break in the conversation, they interject their brillant idea. I'm quite guilty of this, and I've been trying to truly focus on the conversation at hand.

Mother Superior

These people like to slide in little stabs at you in the conversation. If they are called on it, they'll claim that you've misunderstood them. Often the tone they use is important.

The 1/2 of a Couple

These people appear to be totally engrossed in a conversation with you, (with perhaps a slightly vague expression on their faces) but every once in a while, they interupt you to butt into their spouse's conversation at the next table.

The Rambler

These people go on and on and on and on. It takes them 30 minutes to tell as story that could have been related in 4. Often their audience have glazed looks on their faces.

The Gossip

These people, (I'm guilty) talk badly about others, often to make themselves appear better. I feel that the worse of these violators talk about your friends or family, making you wonder a) how do they talk about you when you're not around, b) are they saying this in hopes that I mention it to my friend/family member, c) if they think because I'm listening that I'm agreeing with them.

Here are some questions to ask yourself when talking:

Does this person actually care about what I'm saying?
Am I rambling?
Am I insulting them when talking about friends/family?
Am I looking for validation, or just expressing an opinion?
Is this entire conversation revolving around only me?

I think that the most important aspect of being a good friend is being a good listener and I hope to do better. If I'm not, just give me the glazed look, and hopefully I'll get the hint...