Just me

Yep, on my own.

In some ways I'm so different when Billy is away. I seem quieter. More introspective. Probably because there is nobody here is listen to me verbalizing every thought that pops into my head.

My eating habits are also different. I either make a dish that I really love and Billy doesn't care for, and eat it for 5 days straight, or I don't eat properly or much at all. Too lazy to 'Q up a 'burg. Last night's dinner consisted of a muffin from Tim Horton's. (which we all know is just cake...) Kim did share with me however, a feta and chicken pizza at about 10:30 pm. (It was great!)

The entertainment element is also changed. No Sports Center, no golf, and no Fear Factor. I can watch Oprah, and listen to talk radio without comment. Luckily, Billy and I enjoy many of the same TV programs, so do I digitally record them all while he is away so that we can watch them together next week? or do I watch them on my own? Well if that is my only dilemma, I'm doing alright!

I know that if I was in the situation where my significant other was on vacation when I was in my early 20's, I would have a different attitude. I would have thought, 'he is on vacation, and so am I'. Reckless entitlement. I would have gone shopping without limit, eaten out all the time, have people over, and generally behave in a manic matter. I would want to let my other half know that I also had a great time. I don't feel this way now. I may see a few more friends then I normally would, but with maturity I realize to the core that I am so very lucky to have a generous, hardworking, supportive, and amazing husband. Gratitude, love, respect. Far from entitlement.

So this week I am going to try to eat normally, even try 2 or 3 new recipes. I'm going to cross off some of the things on my guilt list. (like pulling weeds under the deck, resolving the orthordic issue, calling up some friends, selling a house...?) I'm going to watch an old movie, (Cat on a Hot Tin Roof) that I've never seen, with a bottle of red I've never tried. I'm going to spend time with the kids, my mom, and friends. I will miss Billy tremendously, (I already do)and appreciate him even more upon his return.