Queen of the frogs

In case you didn't know, I am the self-appointed Queen of the Frogs. (I should mention that I don't know the difference between frogs and toads, so I may be the Queen of the toads, but frogs sound better. I will not let my ignorance go unchecked, so after I write this entry, I'll google it.)

Just about everyday I walk over to my mom's pool to dump the filter, and just about everyday, there are frogs floating in it. Some days there are several, (the record is 7), other days there are none.

Occasionally, there is a stiff little froggie corpse at the bottom of the basket. The little guy just couldn't swim against the constant pull of the filter. This is why I wake up at 7 everyday, wondering if I could possibly save a frog life. Imagine my surprise, when, as I was preparing for a frog funeral, the frog in question, moved his leg! Could this rigid amphibian be alive? Vague memories hover on the fringe my consciousness. Words like 're-animation', and 'winter survival' are close to my lips. Yes! Frogs can basically drown, and live again!

So, I realize that I am not the frog savior I deem myself to be. I am a caretaker for the undead. How dark!

Now I need you to understand, that I don't particularity like frogs. They freak me out! They can move really quick, they're jumpy, bumpy and wart like. I don't touch the frogs. They're bodies are ruddy and cold, and I'm concerned that they'd jump at me, and I'd inadvertently smush them. I do like to observe them, but they don't like to be watched or seen. They like to conceal themselves, (part of their sneaky behavior..) and be part of the landscaping. This frustrates me, because as Queen of the frogs, my life duty is to protect them. Why must they hide from me? Do they not love their sovereign? It is a lonely lot for me as their overseer...

I admit that currently I know very little about normal frog behavior. I do hope to learn, so I can speak for my subjects, and rule them well. If I could ask a frog anything, I would like to know what attracts them to the pool after a rainfall. There are considerably more frogs in the filter after a storm. I have developed a theory: I believe that frogs love the rain, it makes them want to party. They gather all their friends together for a poolside soirre. The martinis flow like water. Eventually the frogs get tipsy, and with the encouragement of their drunken mates, they try to walk on two legs. Into the pool they go! That's when they hope and pray for the existence of the mythical frog queen, because, although they can reanimate themselves, it has to be a pain in the ass when they're hungover.