If I wrote this post this morning, it would have a completely different feel to it.
So what do you do when life throws you a curve ball? Do you continue on your happy path, (I've had a very happy path lately...) or do you let it bring you down? Are you consumed by it? Does it eat you up inside, even though it is out of your control?
Do you simply except this new 'hit' and move on? I guess I'm the type of person that deals with a new and difficult situation with a direct and logical approach. Efficient effort. Luckily I haven't been up to bat too many times in my 33 years.
I remember being on autopilot when my dad died. I felt I had to push emotions aside to be there for my mom. Then it was to help with final arrangements, and finally greet people at the funeral and hope that they were as comfortable as possible. It was strangely easy. It is like being told by your boss to count the beans, when you've counted beans your entire professional life, yet you've never even seen a bean! You are actually in totally unfamiliar and painful territory. You really see what you're made of in a time like that.
Looking back, I can't see anything I could have done differently. I don't think it would have been beneficial to me or anyone else for me to breakdown and become a catatonic mourner. It still would have been a long and heart-wrenching healing process.
So I accept and move on. Deal with it. Analyze the state of affairs and carry on, as best I know how. In the end, after all is said and done, I hope that I see within myself a strong, capable, and yet sympathetic and loving person.
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1 comment:
You hit the nail on the head and I can really relate. Someone always has to be the strong one and someone always has to make sure things go along as planned. Unfortunately for those of us that fit that role it can be painful and lonely. We tend to spend our time mourning in private. However - this also suits our personalities I suppose. Whatever gets you through!
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